Traits of love.

Failed love is nothing but misunderstood love. There is nothing called failed love. Love is the most successful thing that has ever been. Love do not fail, we fail. Not at loving but at interpreting the one we love. Often we make love suffer by the actions of the lover without knowing the exact intentions. Love is trust at its acme. When you love, you trust. There is no other possible way to keep it intact. You develop negative feelings for your lover when you think they aren’t doing what you expect them to do. The reasons you fathom can be entirely contrary to what you believe. They might be already suffering for failing you; maybe it’s not in their parameters to do what you want them to do. Everyone is made of different soil; you can’t expect everyone to grow your favorite pineapples. Some do grow avocados which may not be the thing you desire, but definitely better for you. 

Getting the point?

Sometimes love is selfish. Most of the times it is. But, my darling, it’s supposed to be, isn’t it? When one is afraid to lose you to someone else(whoever in the world it may be), it’s called selfish. They want you to be all yours that is selfish. They want to stick around you that is selfish. Also, they are jealous when you care for someone else. That’s selfish. Then, tell me how is it love if not selfish? Love is weird. It’s not made up of all the good things. When people love you they are ought to be what they have never been. Sometimes a little wrong maybe but what you need to understand is that they love you and hence that. Instead of getting irritated of their traits, you should love them all the more for their intense love for you.

In all those books, they say all the beautiful things about love. Let’s all agree to it, love is not that at all. Love is not expecting, love is only giving, love is waiting for ages, love is this, love is that and bla bla bla. Love is not a single definition. It can't possibly be. Love has an entire different meaning for everyone who loves or is loved. Every other lover has a variation of love within himself/herself.

So, don’t judge other’s love with your definition. That’s where we all mess it up. Try to get their part of the story. It might turn out to be selfish. It might even be jealous love. It might me be a little more sentimental than you can handle. But it’s love and you are blessed with it. Penetrate into your lover’s love and you will see how there's no love better than that and how it can never fail you. 

Impressions!

How important is it to impress someone? Yes, most of the times the answer that comes out of the vocal chords is “Not at all!”. But the answer that gets stuck somewhere in the middle is “We do it all the time.” That’s true. People try all the time to impress people they want in their life. Shouldn’t it be the other way? Why would we impress someone we want to be close to? That person you are impressing with all the things you are not, have the utmost right to know the raw you. And you have all the right in the world to be accepted and loved the way you naturally are without any artificial varnishing. We need someone who accepts the way we are, too afraid or too outgoing, whatever! Impressing a person with what you are not will make it further complicated. And further and further. Nice impressions can help you get a person, but what about keeping them? Will you always keep on acting what you are not? You just lost yourself in that case.

To impress or not to impress that is the question. I do not have any concrete answers but a few valid and scattered thoughts which revolve around the discussion of impressions. You impress when you are on a job interview, you impress when the engagement is short and temporary, you impress when maybe you are meeting an aunt from another country whom you will hardly encounter a few times in your life and other purely professional occasions. Impressions shouldn’t have anything to do at the personal front. Wearing an expensive designer outfit with perfectly done hair and a beautifully made up face, impressing someone with whom you will wake up in the morning all your life with nest like hair is a complete misapplication.

You can’t act perfect all the time. People know, (if not, they should) that if they are looking for perfection they are looking for the wrong thing altogether. I don’t think people fall for perfections, they fall for imperfections. Perfection is self sufficient; it’s the imperfect that needs the other to complete what it lacks and to soothe the itch that the imperfect places in one’s being cause.

Impressions should be saved for the right people and places. It’s not for the people closest to your heart. Feel free to be wild with them. Shout when you want to, be angry, be stubborn, and share your unaltered thoughts. 

Love immensely, not impressively. 

Distance doesn't matter?

“Distance simply means separation in place but never in connections. Heart remains inseparable.” - DhelChen

This is one of the many random quotes I get to read on the internet and everywhere else every other day. And that’s one of the schools I completely disagree with. Distance between two people means much more than separation in place. Though the heart remains inseparable, distance is of no help. Distance never increases the love they claim to. I have heard nearly thousands of time that distance makes you long for the person you love, and makes the love stronger. Who in the world came up with this theory? Whoever, it may have been, had been a naive. I completely disagree of any thread that connects longing and better love. Of the many things, what I know of, Distance creates sadness and madness. Longing is nothing but a dagger slowly making its way through the heart. And those who say, it doesn’t hurt, they are lying. But do you really need to do so? To lie, to tell people that your love is beyond distance and all? Is it wrong and selfish to confess that you just cannot do without the person you love? If yes, why do always need to say god things to prove your love? Love should be honest. Brutually, may it be.  

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder, doesn’t it? “  - Simon Van

No, it doesn’t. It just makes the heart weak and all the bad things. It makes the heart to suffer at the core. There is no excuse good enough to justify absence once you vow to be on someone’s side. Absence is a slow poison if not worse than that.

Talking of my personal experiences, I have been married for almost a year now. And most of the times we have stayed apart. Sometimes, for me, the other times, him, and for the remaining, both of us. But of all those times, I can only conclude one thing – IT NEVER HELPED. The only time I can now recall and cherish is the little time we spent together. Every other time minus him is an arrow striking exactly at the middle of the heart. Distance has no role to play in the beautiful relationship we share. We built it brick by brick in the times we had been together, along with flesh and bones. At any cost, I would not accept if one says that our love had not been strong enough to survive the distance. It did survive, but it was always felt caged and that’s where it makes all the difference. It isn't supposed to be suffering like this. I can indeed breathe without him, but living a life is just another thing. No castles and comforts can keep me happy away from him. Not a day, not a moment. Now I know why they call it “Life-Partners”.

Without your fellow traveller, the roads seem to be never ending and your legs feeble. The whole idea of distance and love going together is nothing but an excuse, a lie, which one keeps telling himself again and again. Happiness and distance can never go hand in hand. One’s memory can never make up for the touch one longs for. Kissing a picture can never be as fulfilling as holding the person in your arms. Nothing in the world and beyond can make up for it.

Love is being together. Any contradiction is a lie.